progress?

We are always moving forward whether we think we are or not, whether we want to move or not….maybe just saying we are always moving is better than qualifying it with the word forward. I find I can be so harsh and critical of myself…telling myself that I’m not where i’m supposed to be..i should be doing better..I should be at this point in my life, etc. I can make myself crazy and depressed by this mental barrage of negativity. I have come a long way…I am proud of the healing work I have done and the habitual negative patterns I have changed.

The past year has been amazing…the lowest of lows but new found joy when I adopted my first dog.  I have struggled with depression, anxiety for as long as I can remember…as an adult I was given the label PTSD.  I’m ok with it now…but I know I’m not a label…I am not what has happened to me.

Fear has take a lot of life from me…paralyzing at times. Other times i am amazed at my bravery. At 18 traveling through Europe alone, after college traveling in Nepal & India for 3 months on my own and a couple years ago traveling cross country and back on my own.  Those trips didn’t seem to take as much courage as facing the wounds of my past.  I am at a point in my life now where I want more than anything to go back to school for a Master’s degree. I have been wanting to do this for more than 10 years.The negative thought patterns of my past continue to trip me up, tell me I’m not enough, not good enough, not smart enough….it can be quite a downward spiral leading me to a place of powerlessness. Amazing how my thoughts can take my power away…i guess the up side is that my thoughts can also reclaim my power.

So I’m putting a question out to my fellow bloggers. How do you overcome your self doubt and fear to pursue your dreams, your deepest desires? I am wondering what works for other people…and if anyone would like to share their wisdom, successes, failures, motivations, inspirations…I would love to hear from any and all of you out there.

Jen D.

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